In My Lair

"DragonFire" Watercolor and Ink on Paper (9x6)
A sucky day full of sucky memories
So I hide in my lair...head down...hand on brush
Avoiding direct connection...to pain...my pain...your pain...our pain.
Pain of bewilderment...collective loss...grief
The school yard bully unleashed.
A decade of fear and hate has...unraveled us all.
I fucking hate this day.
©2011 Cindy K. Shaw All Rights Reserved

Nail Biter

Nail Biter - Watercolor & Pen on Paper (5x7)
I’ve been dancing on a threadbare tightrope...Center ring of a cliffhanger circus.  The abyss that lies beneath is hungry and I smell of a tasty meal.  

Sleeping in a bed of quicksand is dangerous business. Be still…you sink fastest when you squirm.  

I’ve chewed my nails bloody, gnawed back to the bone.  The handwringing worry a slight breeze will tumble my house cards. 

Homelessness looms.

Something’s gotta break soon.  Maybe...something is me. 

Maybe not…at least…not yet.

A final hour rescue…a job…even if only temporary…I’ll take it. 

My art needs a roof, my head needs a pillow, and my lungs a full breathe of air.  

Plop...Plop...Fizz...Fizz.  Oh what a relief it is. 

A job…even if only temporary…I’ll take it. 

©2011 Cindy K. Shaw All Rights Reserved

Shut the Fuck Up

Spiral Eye - Block Print and Watercolor on Paper (4x5)

Tricky Tricky…keeping it real without really being real. Sterile delivery when the truth just beneath is too ugly for a public meal. 

We have…

An unspoken agreement to...not to...speak.  

Silence is golden. So suck it up because there are no painkillers for this demise. A display of success covers the wall and sings loudly of relentless failure. I am too big for my britches and there is no turning back from here. 

Why did the chicken cross the road?  To get to the other fucking side. What happens in between is, well…none of your fucking business. Reality is a mess without a maid and only a broken broom held in a broken hand. We love the before and after, but the nasty middle is saved for…something else…the triumphant memoir…the movie of the week…the dirty little secret never told. You don’t really want to hear it, now do you? No one likes a scared angry bitch.

Claims of envy from a place of privilege rings sanctimonious bullshit of freedom.  Life under house arrest, a thousand hamsters on a thousand wheels cannot…do not…generate peace.  Please, Oh Please! Send rescue from the well meaning masses. Only a rare few will shovel the shit when the stench is neck high. Love measured by the grit under their fingernails. The rest…squirm in their squeaking chairs because too much has already been said. I am mid-scream with the volume turned way down. A motherly protection for sensitive ears. 

Not all art has meaning but the only breath I breathe streams from paintbrush to canvas, pencil to paper. A blissful denial from the failure of being and not being because I cannot fucking be. Some may be good. Some absolutely sucks. All of it is all of what matters and is better left unsaid…you kill the art by saying too much...and I have already said too much. 

©2011 Cindy K. Shaw All Rights Reserved

Post Cards

"Drummer 2"
"Blue Fish"
"Grasp Swallow's Tail"
"Little Lady"

Here's a few post cards that I've done over the last couple of weeks.  I'm trying to decide if prints should be made or to just sell the originals.  All of these are (3x5) watercolor on paper and are part of my efforts to create some lower price point items.  Would you buy them? Which is your favorite...if you have one? What would you like to see?

To be honest they are a great way to pass time and keep practicing both in a general keep the juices flowing way and more specifically in playing with watercolors.  It is a challenge for me to work on such a small scale and find it difficult to create the same movement that is present in my full size paintings.  Watercolors also take some adaptation since you work in reverse from that with other paints. Regardless, I'm enjoying the process. 

On a more personal note, I have some big decisions to make after my return from NYC. Until then, I look forward to enjoying the city and hanging with a very dear friend.   ©2010 Cindy K. Shaw All rights reserved